I (rarely) if ever post on politics. And maybe after today, I’ll lose some followers and friends, but I’m OK with that.
Like millions of Americans around me, I woke up this morning feeling confused, defeated, angry, and agitated.
And then there are the people who are trying to be optimistic by saying that it’s only 4 years, that Trump can’t have too much power, and so on and so forth– but I think the election results really reinforces in my mind my entire experience growing up in “white America”, and “white Orange County”.
The mindset and the message that came across from 80% of white evangelicals who voted for Trump is that it’s not OK to be different. It’s NOT OK to be LGBTQ. It’s NOT OK to be female. It’s NOT OK to be black. It’s NOT OK to be an immigrant. It’s NOT OK to be anything but “white”, “male” and “Christian”.
But that’s the problem with all the people who supported and prayed for Trump to come into office. They don’t understand their privilege. They don’t understand what it’s like to be different and to feel different. Growing up in Orange County in the 90s as an Asian American makes my blood boil. I can’t believe the ignorance of some people: “Where are you from? No, where are you REALLY from?” Those stupid games of Chinese, Japanese, Korean, etc where “white” people would try to “look Asian”. Being excluded from class activities, groups, PE games, the lunch tables, because what I brought to lunch to eat “smelled weird”, “looked funny”. Being asked ignorant questions in middle school: “Why is it that all Asians look the same? Are you REALLY from the US? Do you speak Asian?” And answering back in a sarcastic way: “Why do all white people look the same? Can you speak American?” That’s white America for you. It’s ignorance. It’s privilege. It’s judgments. It’s everything that I cannot bear to understand or accept.
But that’s what white America wants, though. They want a cookie-cutter country. They want “white American values”. But what makes America unique is diversity. You don’t have to be a Christian, don’t have to be straight, don’t have to be male, don’t have to look a certain way, or speak a certain language. When America can finally understand that concept, I think we will have made progress.
Until then, PLEASE, God, DON’T bless America.
Today I’m mourning for America. Today, I’m mourning for where the votes went wrong, where the mindset went wrong.
Today, I’m wondering why we’ve returned to an adult version of the childhood bullying and exclusion I experienced. I can’t stand behind those values. I can’t call myself an American today. Today, I’m NOT proud to be an American.
Amanda's Experience 